A move can completely devastate a child's comfort level, trust, and emotional stability to the point of them acting out and exhibiting behaviors that you never thought would be coming from your loved one. A toddler all the way up to a teenager can all display signs of frustration and irritation about moving residents whether that be a new home down the street from where they once lived or completely across the Country. Here are some Verbal and Non-Verbal cues to look for in your child that may give you clues in to how they are being negatively affected by a move:
- Becomes easily agitated, frustrated or moody
- Feelings of being constantly overwhelmed
- Having difficulty relaxing
- Low self-esteem, loneliness, or depression
- Avoids others
- Difficulty sleeping
- Frequent headaches
- Low Energy
- Upset stomach or other digestive issues
- Chest pains or irregular heartbeat
- Aches, pains, or muscle tension
- Insomnia or other sleeping irregularities
- Frequent illness
- Grinding teeth, nail biting, or other nervous behaviors
- Forgetfulness and disorganization
- Inability to focus
- Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities
As a parent myself, I know this list seems like it could be hanging on the wall of every household that has children. They could be character traits that kids of all ages display at one time or another. However, you know your children better than anyone else. If your child is starting to display any one of these behaviors that is not typical for them, it could be they are being adversely affected by a recent move. Children aren't the best communicators so it's up to us parents to identify these warning signs and be proactive in our approach to providing them much needed assistance to guide them through this difficult time in their life. Here are five ways we can help children handle the stress of moving:
1. Start talking about the move well in advance
Aside from an unexpected job transfer or any other sudden and abrupt life change, people generally plan out the purchase or sale of a home. It takes time to prepare a home to be listed for sale. It can also take time to search for a new home before the right one is found. When you or your family are at the beginning stages of planning a move, start discussing it with your kids. Most people don't do well with sudden change but if you can begin talking about all the positive aspect of your move early on it will give them time to process and get used to the idea of moving. That way when the big day comes it won't seem so overwhelming.
2. Include your children in the decision making process
I'm not talking about bringing your kids in to the fold when it comes to signing loan documents, choosing a floor-plan, or deciding what home warranty to purchase. Simply asking your child if they would like a big yard, what color do they want to paint their new room, or if living close to one of their favorite restaurants or parks would be fun are easy ways to make them feel like their feelings are being taken in to consideration. No one likes to feel helpless. We all like it when our boss comes in to our office and genuinely wants our feedback about a decision that needs to be made. Children are no different. They want to know their opinions are valued and will be noted.